The view of love portrayed by the world (including the people in our story, What We Talk about When We Talk about Love) is vastly different to the Christian view of love. Love, as defined by the world is something like:
Lust. Lust is the foundation of the feelings you have for your significant other, be they your spouse or boyfriend/ girlfriend or some other title. When you stop lusting after them you stop "loving" them. If you look at our story it mentions that every one of them had either been married or lived with another person before. What happened to those relationships? They were built on a foundation that easily crumbles with time and troubles. The people involved didn't make that constant choice of "I am going to love them despite our disagreements and our faults".
Obedience. Women obey their husbands. The character by the name of Mel in the story tells his wife to, "Just shut up for once in your life. Will you do me a favor and do that for a minute?" He is expecting her to submit to him. He is not even regretful later on about his harsh words to her. I know that God tells us that men are the authority in the household but I am sure He did not mean for them to be cruel.
Violence. The character of Terri in the story was abused by the man in her last serious relationship. Though he beat her, she still insisted that he loved her. But why would you hurt someone you love? We are seeing the situation of abuse more and more often. So often the abuser's excuse is that they hurt the other person because they loved them. I just don't understand how that works. If you love someone wouldn't you rather protect them from pain instead of being the one who inflicts them with pain.
Envy. People often become envious of what another has or what they themselves don't have. They think that the other spouse is prettier, kinder, not as whiny, not as demanding, etc. If you truly love another person why would you even look at another? We should enter into a relationship accepting the good and the bad. We shouldn't look for what we think is "lacking" in a spouse in another person. Even Mel in the story tells the other man's wife that, if he didn't have his wife and her husband wasn't his best friend, he would fall in love with her. I'm not really sure what to say to that.
As Christians we think of love quite differently. We think of love in a 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 perspective. “Love is patient, love. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I believe this is the way love was supposed to be.
Kristen you bring out a good point when you say that even though wives are told to submit to their husbands that the husbands don’t need to be cruel. I think that many men in the Christian world have got it in their heads that they are the alpha-male because the wives are told to submit to them. And with this alpha-male tendency I think many get too controlling and it becomes unhealthy for the relationship. In my opinion a relationship should be more like a partnership.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you talk about how when the looks of a person fade away, the love you feel for each other should still be there. Just because age takes its toll on our appearance it should not affect the love in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteHi there, I truly enjoyed your perspective on LOVE. I read it thoroughly and agreed with your points. Especially the obedient side of LOVE. I agree that we are to submit but you are right, God never told man to be cruel and demanding for such a thing. To submit to our husbands is out of reverent love and respect for who they are. But when a man is violent with words and never apologizes, God has to take care of that in him. Thank you for you blog. You did a good job!
ReplyDeleteYou have a very good perspective on love. I completely agree with you when you say that the beginning of lust is the end of true love. The Worlds view on love is so skewed and far from what true love is meant to be. Thanks for the blog.
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